As I enter my 28th week of pregnancy, tons of memories flood into my mind of a little over two years ago when I experienced one of the scariest and yet most joyful times in my life. At this time in my pregnancy with Suzie, I noticed that she wasn't moving as much as I had become accustomed to. For two days I would try to get her to move and felt as though her movement was becoming less frequent. Looking back, I can see the Lord's hand in everything that happened those few weeks and months when Suzie was born. I wouldn't have gone in to the doctor unless my nurse had called me to give me some test results. Had I waited even a day, it would have been too late and we would have lost her. I had the most wonderful OB who was not only incredibly skilled, but also a strong believer who kept telling me, "We know Who's in control!" We were able to get into one of the best NICU's and stay right across the street. Suzie was given a 40% chance of surviving and we were told if she did make it, she would most likely be moderately to severely mentally and physically disabled. And just look at her now! What a blessing she is to us and we wouldn't trade all that we went through for anything. We have been blessed far more than we deserve and every day Suzie is a testimony of how merciful God is to us wretched sinners.
People ask me all the time if I'm scared about this pregnancy. The truth is, I can be tempted to worry sometimes. Who's to say that the Lord doesn't want me to go through something like this again? And yet, I know and have seen that when you encounter a trial that seems far too great for you to handle, God's grace is right there to see you through every moment. And so, whenever I am tempted to fear, I look at my Suzie and see God's grace overflowing. I remember how scary it was and how the Lord comforted me all the way. And I do pray everyday for the safety of Sawyer, knowing how the Lord loves Him far more than I ever could! I praise God for allowing Sawyer to be quite the mover so I can have that little bit of assurance that he's doing okay. If I were to encounter a day when his movements decreased significantly, it would certainly be scary! But what a blessing it is to know that we can trust in our Sovereign and kind God.
I thought I'd post this picture of what Suzie looked like the day she was born, since Sawyer is about that size right now, and I still have a whole trimester left!
Suzie Lorraine; 7.18.08; 1 lb. 14 oz.; 13 1/4 inches
3 years ago